I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
