just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
