Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
