god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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