He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
