i just wanna soil my oats bro
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
