It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
