drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
