I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
