last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
