do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So vagazzling was a success
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
