I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
