Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
love makes seman taste better
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
