i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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