is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize