Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
