the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You made out with two different species that night
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
