I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
