you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize