Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
