guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
