I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
