i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
