I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
