that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
