their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
only you would photoshop your dick
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
40s are totally the cure
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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