i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
