Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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