you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm like, not good at living.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
