i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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