lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
