I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
