my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just threw up on my dentist
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
