so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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