My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
