in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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