the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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