White coat. Heels.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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