like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
