There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
