More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
