I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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