I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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