There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
