I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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