I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
