Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
