u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
