i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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