It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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