Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
