If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
