i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Mom said you looked used
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
