i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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