Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize