The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
