sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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