anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
