Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
