i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
